Monday, May 16, 2011

Enslaved By Cuteness

When we last left our intrepid heroine, she had given birth to the two cutest sim toddlers in existence, Jo and Bloom.
Emma: I seriously can't believe you named my children Jo and Bloom. I'm surprised you didn't name them after your cats. Because you ARE that weird. Why didn't you let Zhan and me name our own children?
Me: Because I needed to ensure that our little sims had literary names. And I totally would have named your kids Pepper and Zoozey if Pepper and Zoozey were literary names, but they're not.
Emma: Well, I don't have a literary name, why do my children have to have them?
Me: You totally have a literary name!
Emma: Do not!
Me: Do too! You're named after Emma Woodhouse, protagonist of Jane Austen's novel Emma and the first Jane Austen novel that I ever read.
Emma: Oh.
Me: But it's a good name! One day when I have a PhD and a full time job teaching English literature, I will have real life children, and I totally want to name my first born Emma.
Emma: What if your first born is a boy?
Me: Doesn't matter. It's a bad ass name either way.
Emma: <sighes> You're digressing here. Can we get back to the story now?
Me: Fine. Back to the story.


Emma has the two cutest sim toddlers EVER, Jo and Bloom:


Jo and Bloom: We're hella cute! We will enslave you with our adorable cuteness!
Emma: I don't think kids really say hella.
Me: This is my sim blog. They say whatever the heck I want. And I'm totally acknowledging that you and Zhan have produced super cute, extra adorable children. Even though sim genetics did not pass on your pink eyes. Sigh... So just shut up.
Emma: Well, our children really are hella cute....
Me: See, I told you so!

And what's even better, Jo and Bloom totally get along, even though all Emma wants to talk about is trash and death:

Jo: Being a slob is the most awesome trait ever! Garbage is cool!
Bloom: Yeah, garbage is not really cool. And slobs are gross.

Emma: After Momma dies, I get to be heir!
Bloom: If only I had gotten the purple hair! Then Emchic could have had an heir poll.
Emma: My children do not have such concerns!
Me: It would appear that they do, Emms.

And initially I wasn't a fan of Bloom's but his cuteness has really grown on me. But really how could it not? He's so darn happy about everything, even eating.

Bloom: Breakfast! YES! This is SO EXCITING!


But poor Emma is at her wit's end with taking care of two seriously needy toddlers
Crazy talk
Emma: Why do you insist on showing pictures of me when I'm acting insane? I am delicate flower who shouldn't be seen doing such things.
Me: Just for that, I'm going to show our readers the most unattractive picture I have of you.

Muy feo
Emma<sighes> Why do you do these things to me?
Me: <grins> Because it's fun!
Emma: Besides, I was in my comfy clothes on my way to the library to work on my new book, which YOU named Invasion of the Alien Bowling Shirts. Really? You have to let me name your dissertation now.
Me: I was watching Psych and Shawn and his father were talking about ugly bowling shirts. And too late, my chair already came up with a bad-ass title, which references Star Wars! Although I think that was inadvertent. I don't think she has any idea it references Star Wars, but I do!

And yes, Emma has started her second book, which I hope is an awesome bestseller because the Books need money crazy bad.

Those alien bowling shirts are gonna take over the Earth!
Zhan, well, he's around. He pretty much sits around and twiddles his thumbs.

Zhan:.......
Emma: Zhan works hard to support our family! And he loves our kids!

Cuddles!

Play time!
And initially I wasn't a fan of Zhan either. He was kind of boring. But one day after work, nasty Victoria Andrews flirts with Zhan....
Emma: What!?! That hussy! And Zhan, how could he!
Me: Hold your horses. Look at the photographic evidence.

Victoria: Hey baby....Let's go get a bite
And Zhan shoots her down! Autonomously!

Zhan: Ewwww........
And after that, I was totally on board with Zhan! He's not boring! So now I pay more attention to him now. He loves his lady! And he really does roll wants to kiss and hug Emma.
Emma: My Zhanikins! He looooves me! He really loves me!
Me: He really does. And it's so sweet! And I'm a sucker for sweetness and cuteness! So, Zhan FTW!

Cute adorable Jo is reaching the end of her toddler days, so Emma and Zhan spend her last few days cuddling and playing with Jo. (Sorry in advance for the walls down shot)

Jo: Mommy loves me! But really, how could she not?

And I put her in her formal outfit because I really love it and she never really got to wear it because I hate throwing sim parties.

I think Jo has enslaved ME with her cuteness. 
But soon enough, I spot that inevitable sign of sim aging, crossed eyes.

Birthday time! I'll miss Jo's shirt.
Jo seems a little worried about the transition

Jo: What if I'm not as cute as a child?
And Jo's worries are valid.  Look what she aged up into.

I HATE that hair.
Jo: I do too.
Emma: FIX HER! FIX HER NOW!
Me: I'm right there with you. That hair has to go!

Jo: Yep! I'm still adorable
Emma: Whew! Much better.
Me: I agree. Most of the hair EA makes for children is really ugly. Thank plumbobs for CC.
Emma: That's the truth!

And the combined cuteness of Jo and Bloom is still powerful. Exhibit #ten million:

Awwww....I made them do that.
Emma: My kids are cute and all, and I totally love them. But I have not gotten enough face time in this chapter.
Me: Well your kids have enslaved me with their cuteness. I can't help myself. I mean, just look at Bloom. He's winking at me!

Blackmail picture
Emma: He's pottying, not winking!
Me: So you say. Just for that I'm posting another ugly picture of you. Here's your facetime, Emms!

Si, muy feo
Emma: You would have that look on your face too if you had to empty the toddler potty.
Me: Valid point.
Emma: I feel like you're meandering here. Why don't you just end the chapter?
Me: Because I'm determined to make it through this set of pictures. Here's another one!

More evidence of Zhan's awesomeness
Emma: This is an adorable and picture and all, but this chapter needs a point!
Me: Ha ha ha! I'm crazy! This chapter has no point! Crazy! And your children really have enslaved me with their cuteness. Really, all I want to do is post pictures of them!

Bloom: You are in my power! Tee hee!
Emma: Stop that! Tell a story!
Me: No! Don't want to! But I'll post this picture you can use to blackmail Jo when she's older.
Emma: Oooh....do show!

Slobby girl is slobby!
Emma: Now that's more like it!

But really, Jo is awesome. As soon as she aged up she rolled a wish to learn how to fish. And boy did she! She learned quickly and caught lots of fish. Which I sold to make money for the Books! Because they BROKE.

My little moneymaker
Big money!


I used some of the money to make a bedroom for Jo and Bloom, who was about to age up into a child. And I bought them a couple of awesome pictures for the wall.

Travel to Beautiful Hoth! It's icy! Don't forget your swim suit!
Star Wars posters! How awesome are these! I saw them on io9 a couple of months ago and then I found them as Sims cc. Kitty Klan is AWESOME! And Zhan and Bloom are adorable too!
Emma: It should have been Star Trek cc. Why don't we have more Star Trek cc?
Me: That's a good question. I'm going to have to look for some. And when I find it, I'll put it in your house. In the meantime, you'll just have to be satisfied with your expendable redshirt.

Aaand, while playing this part of the game, I discovered that if your toddler sim can talk, and if he or she plays at a play table near the a table at which your older sim is sitting/eating, they will talk with one another!

Socialization! FTW!
And little Bloom is about to age up into a child (thank sims!) so here is one last super extra cute picture of him!
Emma: <cries dramatically> My babies are growing up! I'm getting OLD! <sobs>

I can't stand how cute he is! 
Emma: <still sobbing> So old....Why, why won't you make me immortal?
Me: It's not happening. Enjoy this cuteness while it lasts. And aren't you happy your children are growing up into such awesome sims?
Emma: So old.....<sobs hysterically>


Oh! I think it might be birthday time...
Emma: My baby isn't a baby any more......
Me: I'll miss the toddler cuteness too.

I see crossed eyes!

Goodbye adorable little overalls! I'll miss you....

Why do sims age up into such ugly outfits?


Emma: FIX IT! FIX IT NOW!
Much better
So, Jo and Bloom are now children, and I put Bloom in this bad ass robot shirt I just downloaded. (Remember kids: Only you can prevent ugly clothes)

And Emma, well she....she....

stares at her hands

2 comments:

  1. Why is there are chair hanging from her glasses in the last pic?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just happened to snap this pic as Emma's fascinating thought bubble about the chair disappeared. I have absolutely no idea why it's near her glasses.

    ReplyDelete